Interview: Chloe

Today we’re joined by Chloe. Chloe is a wonderful young artist who is just starting out. She’s a writer and visual artist. She does both digital and traditional art. For writing, she writes fanfiction, poetry, and occasionally original fiction. It’s clear she’s a dedicated artist with a bright future ahead of her. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

eleanor

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

I am both a writer and an artist. I do digital and traditional works as well as writing fanfiction, poems, and the occasional original fiction piece. I’ve always been pretty creative, finding enjoyment in expressing myself through the hobbies I love. My artwork and writing certainly aren’t of any professional quality, but I believe they’re good enough to qualify me as an artist of sorts, even if no art has any real qualifications.

What inspires you?

Often times, I find inspiration in other works. It might be an idea, a color, a theme: if it catches my eye, I try to incorporate it in a creative way. On top of that, I also find inspiration in lyrics and sometimes even in everyday experiences!

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

When I was younger, I drew occasionally, but I never really felt like it was something for me. By the time I was 10 years old, though, I was writing stories often and trying to teach myself to draw! There wasn’t anything that really brought it on – I just thought that art was cool and I loved reading stories made by other people. On top of that, I was (and still am) an anime fan, so the art style inspired me. I just thought it was pretty, and I went off of that to develop my own artistic style. Well, its not complete in any means, but it’s something.

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

Well, I have a literal signature, which you’ll see on nearly all of my drawings. Other than that, though, I don’t believe there’s anything unique in my art or writing that tells it apart from another’s. I wish I could say it’s unique to me. I excessively use adverbs (a habit I’m trying to break) and I draw in an anime-influenced style, but my work is hardly the only type of it’s kind, unfortunately.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

Do not give up. If it’s your dream, go for it. Power through. Learn. Create. Your art is your art, whatever that may be. The world is cruel – people are cruel! – don’t let that change you. Your life is your life: pursue it.

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ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I’m demisexual. Sort of in the middle, I guess.

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

Yeah. I’m a part of a lot of communities, but prejudice is especially present on Tumblr. Asexuals are definitely discriminated against, but it almost seems worse for demisexuals. I’ve seen many people – artists – say that demisexuality is not real, that it’s just a preference. It really gets me upset sometimes because it makes me feel unwelcome and ‘wrong.’ People are so unaccepting of what they don’t understand. I’m afraid that if I express myself completely that I’ll only end up hurt. Often, I’m afraid to even mention that I am demisexual. Most of the time, I just say I’m heterosexual for fear of backlash.

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

I’ve heard people assume that asexual people do not have a sex drive and such, but that isn’t always the case. Though, as for demisexuality, many people assume that we only have intercourse with people we get to know, or as they describe: “are not a hoe.” They assume that our sexuality is the norm for everyone, so it must not really exist. However, that’s a misunderstanding. Demisexuality is the lack of sexual attraction unless a close emotional bond is formed. In other words, I won’t find an attractive celebrity ‘hot’ because I don’t know them well or even at all. People aren’t aware of this.

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

You’re not broken. You’re not wrong. You are who you are and some people may mock you. Some won’t accept you. It’ll be hard sometimes, but we’re here. Your identity is valid. Your feelings are valid. People are cruel, but I promise you that what you’re feeling is so, so okay. What you feel is your business and it is perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine – amazing, even. Nothing you feel is wrong. Don’t let people convince you otherwise. They don’t know how you feel; people can’t understand what they don’t feel. It’s okay. I promise.

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

You can check my Tumblr or DeviantArt page! I’m more active on Tumblr, but I still post all complete artwork on DeviantArt. My DeviantArt username is cofstars, as well as my Tumblr url. They’re my most active platforms. Though, my Tumblr page had a lot more info than the latter!

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Thank you, Chloe, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

Poem: Broken by Juliet

I was recently contacted by a young poet named Juliet (who can be found at http://scrumpgreen.tumblr.com/). She asked if I would post this on “Asexual Artists” and I agreed. So here’s “Broken, Based on Confession of Asexuals”


 

Broken

Based on confession of asexuals.
By Juliet (http://scrumpgreen.tumblr.com/)

They say I am broken. They say I have a disease. They say I’m not real. And I believed them. I hid myself, from the truth.

There must be something wrong with me. I don’t feel sexual attraction.

But this doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship. I dream of someone holding my hand, someone to cuddle with at night, someone to say that they love me every day. But every time I say who I am they all laugh or run.

Is this how it is? I can’t have a romance without heated night? Am I strange for thinking that there is more to a relationship than sex? Every time I tell someone who I am they say I just haven’t found the right person yet, they say how do I know I don’t like it without even trying it. They think I’m a victim of sexual assault. I’m not, I thought I was just a normal human being, but I thought wrong.

Why do people care so much anyways? Is it bothering them? Am I offending anyone?
Does everyone in the world have to be attracted to another?

You just haven’t found him yet. That’s not a real thing. You’re just a closeted gay.
I’ve heard it every day since I came out. Can’t I just go back in? Would people stop getting in my business then? Should I just say I can feel attraction? What will make the world happy?

I thought to myself every night. These thoughts running through my head. I was tired of being told I’m broken. I would cry myself to sleep at night. Why am I like this? I hate myself! I can’t stand who I am.

But one day I found a person. A person that turned my life around. They told me I wasn’t broken. They said they understood what I was going through because they went through the same thing.

And that day the comments of others were blocked out. They didn’t bother me anymore. I was finally free.

So now I say to you I am proud of who I am. I’m asexual and I will scream it from the roof tops! So what if I don’t feel attraction? So what if I don’t want to have sex with you? If you can accept me for who I am then you don’t deserve me! Cake is way better than you anyways!

And for all of you who feeling the same pain I felt this is for you. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re broken because you’re not! You are a beautiful work of art! So please be proud of who you are.

We are real. We don’t have a disease. We are not…..

BROKEN

On Being Ace by Fen

Today we have another poem by an artist interviewed for this site (Fen’s interview will be posted on April 21st).  It’s a poem about the experience of being an asexual in a relationship with a sexual person.  According to Fen: “I wrote it after a friend asked me what it’s actually like to be ace, and it really helped a lot more of my friends to understand when they read it, too.“

Warning:  this may contain images that sex-repulsed aces wouldn’t want to read.


 

I am terrified of sex
Not because I think you’ll hurt me
But because sex would require you to actually be… involved
Because sometimes when you look at me I think of the way I look at cookies
(Damn, I love cookies)
If I could eat cookies without making myself sick then oh boy
I would be fat within a week

That’s how you look at me

And it’s not that you’re viewing me as an object, something to eat (we have had that conversation and I’m sick of it)
And it’s not that you’re not appreciating my beauty

But

If there is a perfectly round cookie, I get a certain amount of pleasure in admiring it
How, despite the hardships of being beaten and filled full of hard lumps and
Baked alive, oh my Gods
It still came out
A perfect circle

And then I will eat that shit right up because
Goddamn I love cookies

And that’s how you look at me
That’s how I can tell you’re
Wishing you could have sex with me
Again
One more time

And it’s not that I think you’ll hurt me
I just can’t stand the thought of
Your mouth
Breaking me down
Into bite-size pieces

You’ll tell me how you love the way my
Body shapes itself when I
Stretch
Bend
Flex
The way legs join ass joins back is just
Perfect

And I’m aware I’m going to seem ungrateful (because what business do I have asking for love without sex)

But

I want you to look at me like you look at
The sunset, knowing it’s the only one of it’s kind you’ll ever see in this moment, yesterdays is not this one and tomorrows won’t be either
The Milky Way, stretching horizon to horizon, infinite and yet so limited by your naked eye
The storms you sit inside and watch with awe as the hail shatters windows and the thunder sets off car alarms and the
Clear blue skies and crisp clean air you breathe afterwards
I want to be art
Because you wouldn’t stick your dick in the Mona Lisa – well, I’m hoping you wouldn’t

The thing is, I used to be this ever-refilling cookie jar
We never realised the good stuff was making me ill and would eventually run out, leaving you heartbroken and me just …

Now there’s one cookie left
At the bottom of the jar
Perfectly round

Stale

~ Fen
(Fen can be found on Tumblr and Archive of Our Own)

Poem by Jules

I received an email from one of the artists, Jules.  They have written a poem and asked if I would post it to “Asexual Artists,” which I agreed to. 

Like signal boosts, if you are an artist on the asexual spectrum and have any art or writing you’d like posted on these sites, I’m more than happy to oblige.  Also like signal boosts, I’ll be posting these on Saturdays and Sundays.

Warning:  some language is NSFW


 

“You’re too young to know,”
“You’ve never been with anyone before,”
“You’ll change your mind,”
“Don’t be such a bore.”

We hear a lot of things,
Many hurtful, ignorant and blunt.
We’re dismissed and erased,
Just ’cause we don’t want cock or cunt.

Excuse the vulgarity,
But that’s all we hear all day.
How can we ignore it
When it’s always thrown our way?

How can we ignore it
When the world chooses to ignore us?
We feel put aside
When sex is all they discuss.

We don’t mean to be spiteful,
To hate those who don’t get it.
But it’s hard to stay positive
When you feel like you don’t fit.

And to think that such things
Could happen in our own community,
Even there we’re not safe,
Even there there’s no immunity.

“A is for Ally!”
These words pierce our ear.
“A is for Ally!”
These words do not deserve cheer.

A is for Ace, Aro, Agender,
And those who fall on those lines.
Demi, Grey, Neutrois,
Repeat it until it shines.

~Jules
(they can be found on Tumblr and DeviantArt)